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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999. Summarise it.

The chart below shows the results of a survey of people who visited four types of tourist attraction in Britain in the year 1999. Summarise it.
#results #survey #people #four #tourist #attraction #britain #year #summarise
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The line graph illustrates changes in
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 of adults in France,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States, Japan,
Germany
Correct word choice
and Germany
show examples
 over the period of ninety
years
Use synonyms
 from 1960 to 2050. As seen from the graph in Japan in the first twenty
years
Use synonyms
 the
age
Use synonyms
 was only increasing.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 significantly decreased to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fiftyfive
Correct your spelling
fifty-five
fifty five
years
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 2020 and it continued to fall for the next thirty
years
Use synonyms
 resulting in the
age
Use synonyms
 of
fiftyone
Correct your spelling
fifty-one
fifty one
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 after facing some fluctuations for the first fifty
years
Use synonyms
 the
age
Use synonyms
 in France climbed to
sixtyfive
Correct your spelling
sixty five
sixty-five
 from
sixtythree
Correct your spelling
sixty-three
sixty three
.
Then
Linking Words
 it unfortunately went into nosedive to the
age
Use synonyms
 of
fiftyseven
Correct your spelling
fifty-seven
fifty seven
 in 2050. in 1960 the
age
Use synonyms
 of working was ranked the lowest to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sixty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the United States. For the following twenty
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 slightly went up to the
sixtysix
Correct your spelling
sixty-six
sixty six
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, after all those
increasments
Correct your spelling
increases
increments
 the
number
Use synonyms
 dramatically fell to sixty in 2040 and remained steady for the
nest
Correct your spelling
next
show examples
 decade.From 1960 to 1970 the
age
Use synonyms
 of workers in
germany
Change the capitalization
Germany
show examples
 decreased
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 ten
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
.Indeed the
number
Use synonyms
 plunged to seventy in 2020 being the highest rate among
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three countries.After
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 it dramatically sank to
fifty five
Add a hyphen
fifty-five
show examples
 in 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
,between 1960 and 2050 only the
age
Use synonyms
 of workers from
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States remained untouched.Other countries' ages
decresed
Correct your spelling
decreased
.
Submitted by tukezaliyeva96 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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