The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions

The first chart illustrates how power is used in an average

Australian

family. The second chart portrays the total

energy

use from greenhouse

gas

emissions. There are 6

energy

, namely,

water

heating, refrigerator, other appliances, lighting, cooling, and heating.

Overall

, the

Australian

family has the highest

energy

use for

water

heating and the lowest cooling.

However

, the biggest household greenhouse

gas

is produced by

water

heating, and the smallest is from cooling.

To begin

with, heating uses 42% of the

energy

Australian

houses.

Nonetheless

, cooling just uses 2% of

energy

. The

energy

compared with refrigerators, other appliances, lighting, and cooling used just under 10% of

energy

just under 10%.

However

Australian

households made the biggest

gas

emission from

water

heating.

In contrast

, heating just produced 15%

gas

Gas

emission from cooling was the smallest. It makes just 5%. Other appliances produced more emissions, as much as 28%. Meanwhile, refrigerators, lighting, and cooling produced emissions of under 15%.

Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on Thu May 18 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words australian, energy, gas, water with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

158 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Energy consumption
Greenhouse gas emissions
Sustainable practices
Energy efficiency
Renewable energy
Fossil fuels
Carbon footprint
Eco-friendly appliances
Insulation
Solar panels
Recycling
Climate change
Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
Emissions-intensive
Energy audit
Smart meters

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Some people say that public libraries should be free; otherwise they are just a waste of money, especially because modern technologies and the internet allow easy access to resources. Discuss and give your point of view.