The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions

The first chart illustrates how power is used in an average

Australian

family. The second chart portrays the total

energy

use from greenhouse

gas

emissions. There are 6

energy

, namely,

water

heating, refrigerator, other appliances, lighting, cooling, and heating.

Overall

, the

Australian

family has the highest

energy

use for

water

heating and the lowest cooling.

However

, the biggest household greenhouse

gas

is produced by

water

heating, and the smallest is from cooling.

To begin

with, heating uses 42% of the

energy

Australian

houses.

Nonetheless

, cooling just uses 2% of

energy

. The

energy

compared with refrigerators, other appliances, lighting, and cooling used just under 10% of

energy

just under 10%.

However

Australian

households made the biggest

gas

emission from

water

heating.

In contrast

, heating just produced 15%

gas

Gas

emission from cooling was the smallest. It makes just 5%. Other appliances produced more emissions, as much as 28%. Meanwhile, refrigerators, lighting, and cooling produced emissions of under 15%.

Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on Thu May 18 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words australian, energy, gas, water with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

158 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Energy consumption
Greenhouse gas emissions
Sustainable practices
Energy efficiency
Renewable energy
Fossil fuels
Carbon footprint
Eco-friendly appliances
Insulation
Solar panels
Recycling
Climate change
Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
Emissions-intensive
Energy audit
Smart meters

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Others think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

GLOBAL WARMING IS INCREASING DAY BY DAY. WHAT EFFECTS DOES THIS PHENOMENON CAUSES ? WHAT ARE THE SOLUTION

It is often said, "When in Rome, do as Romans do." Do you think people should adapt and accept the culture of the country that they are visiting? Do you think it is possible to learn a culture without learning the language?

Topic: Creative artists should be given the freedom to express their ideas through words, pictures, music, or films. Some people, nevertheless, think that the government should restrict artists' freedom of expression. To what extent do you agree or disagree?