The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions

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The first chart illustrates how power is used in an average

Australian

Use synonyms

family. The second chart portrays the total

energy

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use from greenhouse

gas

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emissions. There are 6

energy

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, namely,

water

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heating, refrigerator, other appliances, lighting, cooling, and heating.

Overall

Linking Words

, the

Australian

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family has the highest

energy

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use for

water

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heating and the lowest cooling.

However

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, the biggest household greenhouse

gas

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is produced by

water

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heating, and the smallest is from cooling.

To begin

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with, heating uses 42% of the

energy

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Australian

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houses.

Nonetheless

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, cooling just uses 2% of

energy

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. The

energy

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compared with refrigerators, other appliances, lighting, and cooling used just under 10% of

energy

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just under 10%.

However

Linking Words

Australian

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households made the biggest

gas

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emission from

water

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heating.

In contrast

Linking Words

, heating just produced 15%

gas

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Gas

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emission from cooling was the smallest. It makes just 5%. Other appliances produced more emissions, as much as 28%. Meanwhile, refrigerators, lighting, and cooling produced emissions of under 15%.

Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on Thu May 18 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words australian, energy, gas, water with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

158 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Energy consumption
Greenhouse gas emissions
Sustainable practices
Energy efficiency
Renewable energy
Fossil fuels
Carbon footprint
Eco-friendly appliances
Insulation
Solar panels
Recycling
Climate change
Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
Emissions-intensive
Energy audit
Smart meters

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Nowadays more and more people want to get things done instantly. Why is it? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Recent research has confirmed that “human activity has become the greatest threat to plant and animal life". Why do you think this has happened? How can we reduce our impact on the natural world?

Some researchers believe that all children need to learn a musical instrument as part of their education. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Having different languages makes it difficult for people of different nationalities to communicate with each other. It would be better if there was only one language in the world What are the advantages and disadvantages of everyone in the world speaking the same language?

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?