IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Technology is becoming an increasingly important part of education. Some people say that this is a positive development, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Do you think the increasing use of technology in education is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#technology #part #education #people #development #consequences
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There is no denying the fact that
technology
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 has a significant role in all aspects of
education
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.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that
technology
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 has a positive impact on
educate
Replace the word
the education
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 field, there is
also
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 an argument that
technology
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 is leading to
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 influence on
education
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.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. on the one hand,
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
,
education
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is rely
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relies
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 on
technology
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 in
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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various sectors.
In other words
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, the majority of people used to use
mopile
Correct your spelling
mobile
Phone
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Phones
show examples
 and
laptop
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laptops
show examples
 to serve their tasks of assessments.
In addition
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, plenty of students use
Ipad
Correct your spelling
iPads
 to solve all home
works
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work
show examples
 and it is faster and easier
Instead
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 of
carry
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carrying
show examples
 books.
For example
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,
in
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apply
show examples
Saudi
Acabia
Correct your spelling
Arabia
 adopted e-books at all universities to facilitate their studies and reckon the
technology
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 has a
benetical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 effect on academic
career
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careers
show examples
.
on the other hand
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, others think the
technology
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 has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drawbacks Impact on their
eduacted
Correct your spelling
education
. It is
also
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 possible to say that cheating is the
most
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biggest
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 issue at schools
by
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on
show examples
 their Phones or
laptop
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laptops
show examples
 and
that's
Verb problem
that plays
show examples
 a play big Problems
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
education
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.
Moreover
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, a lot of students use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
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 in a negative way,
such
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 as
distract
Fix the infinitive
to distract
show examples
 them from studying.
For instance
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,
instead
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 of
concentrate
Change the verb form
concentrating
show examples
 on
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
, they are playing or
scroll
Wrong verb form
scrolling
show examples
 on social media. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the drawbacks
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
education
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because
there
Replace the word
their
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 technical devices
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 them to achieve their goals
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
long
Add an article
the long
a long
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 or short term.
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas to ensure there's a clear logical flow throughout the essay. Linking words and phrases could enhance this clarity.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your task response, try to develop your ideas more thoroughly with specific details or extended examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
The author provides examples to support their points, showing an understanding of the task.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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