IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the proportion of energy produced from different sources in a country between1985 and 2003.

The chart shows the proportion of energy produced from different sources in a country between1985 and 2003.
#proportion #energy #sources #country #between1985
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The pie charts
depicts
Change the verb form
depict
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 the percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
 generated from various sources in a particular country from 1985 to 2003. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it can be seen that throughout the period, the most used
energy
Use synonyms
 source was primarily oil
while
Linking Words
 renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 was the lowest in the given 18 years time period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Oil remained
as
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apply
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the biggest contributor
Add the comma(s)
, as well as it,
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as well as
Linking Words
 it represented 52% of all
energy
Use synonyms
 sourced, though
this
Linking Words
 figure had declined to 39% by 2003. The second most pervasive vitality source was nuclear at 22% in 1985,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 it dropped minimally
at
Change preposition
to
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 17% in 2003.
Moreover
Linking Words
, natural gas represented
at
Change preposition
apply
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13% in the former year, and it experienced a significant rise
at
Change preposition
to
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 23 % in 2003.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
reliability
Correct article usage
the reliability
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 of other renewable resources and coal grew from 1% to 4 % and 8% to 13% respectively. Interestingly, hydrogen remained stable at the same
Change the spelling
per cent
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percent
Replace the word
percentage
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 during the given time duration.
Submitted by iielts998 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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