In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. why is this? do you think it is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, businesses usually promote their
products
by saying that its new in some way.
This
essay believes that
this
movement is
due to
the company's eagerness to make more income, which will have a negative impact on its customer loyalty.
To begin
with, the rapid involvement of technology makes it easier for many businesses to advertise their
products
with different kinds of new ideas. One way to gain more
customers
is by telling them that the
products
have new and rare materials or in some cases, a new substance has been added to a beauty product to claim new benefits for its
customers
.
For instance
, there was research conducted months ago to see whether or not most cosmetic
products
were being honest regarding the claims of their
products
and turns out half of the claims were not true.
This
action will lower the customer's satisfaction and loyalty to the company because they will feel betrayed and will likely switch sides with another company. Advertising new
products
with
this
idea will only decrease the number of
customers
instead
of attracting new ones.
For example
, the famous soft drink brand, Coca-Cola has made drinks that were told were less sugar but turns out it still has as much as the one that it normally makes, which makes most of its
customers
switch to Pepsi. In conclusion, businesses should be more careful when deciding what kind of strategies they use to sell more
products
because it can lead to their own bust. It's important to cherish the connection with their customer so that both parties will be pleased by their sales or purchase
Submitted by ethia.oktaviani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay addresses the task requirements quite well, presenting reasons for why businesses emphasize newness in their advertising. However, there is room for improvement in expanding and deepening the analysis and examples given. Try to provide a more thorough exploration of the implications of these advertising strategies on businesses and consumers.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Yet, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using more cohesive devices and signposting language to enhance the flow between points and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While the essay does present some good ideas, they could be more clearly articulated. Work on clarity and precision in expressing your arguments. Also, ensure that each main point is fully supported with specific examples and explanations to strengthen your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-constructed, effectively framing the essay and reinforcing your main arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay does a good job at addressing the question, providing a logical structure with distinct sections.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: