Some people believe that stadying at university or collage is the best route to a successfull career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In my parts of the world, after finishing
school
, teenagers will have two options
that
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are
show examples
is continue
Change the verb form
continue
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their education or get a
job
.
While
there are some benefits to getting a
job
straight after
shool
Correct your spelling
school
show examples
, I believe that it is better to go to college or
university
.
This
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In this
show examples
essay, I will discuss that idea.
Let’t
Correct your spelling
Let’s
start by looking
of
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at
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the advantages of
start
Wrong verb form
starting
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work straight.
Firstly
, young people want to start earning money as soon as possible. In
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
way, they can become independent, and they will be able to afford things which they love.
For example
, my young brother went to work as soon as he finished
school
, and he purchased a motorbike which loves.
Secondly
, they will be
albe
Correct your spelling
able
to approach
to
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apply
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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sooner
,
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apply
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and
assist
Correct pronoun usage
this assist
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they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
in the chance to gain real experience and learn practical skills related to the jobs which they have chosen.
This
may lead to promotions and a
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
career.
On the other hand
, I believe there are many benefits of continuing to college or
university
.
Fisrtly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, academic qualifications will increase significantly
compere
Correct your spelling
compare
show examples
to those who did not continue
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
after finishing
school
.
As a result
,
university
graduates have access to more and better
job
opportunities, and they tend to earn higher salaries than those with lower qualifications. In
additionally
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addition
show examples
, the
job
market is becoming increasingly competitive, companies usually choose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
applicants who graduate
university
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from university
show examples
than
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over
show examples
others. In conclusion, from the reasons above, even though going to work right after finishing
school
has many benefits, I personally believe that continuing to study will be much more beneficial.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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