Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Being a workaholic with
little
Add an article
a little
the little
show examples
amount of recreational time is considered to be better than being paid with low salary with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
amount of free time. I wholeheartedly believe that
this
statement has both sides. The first salient reason why being
busy
Add an article
a busy
show examples
but rich individual is satisfying
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is no financial burden. Each
citizens
Change to a singular noun
citizen
show examples
may have to pay for water,
electnaty
Correct your spelling
electorate
electracy
bills,
bevarage
Correct your spelling
beverages
,
Correct word choice
and neccesaties
show examples
neccesaties
Correct your spelling
necessities
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
with the high inflation. On the account
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
amount of money can underpin well-qualified living condition without worrying compared to earning sufficient, perhaps less, but still
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
people’s need so when it comes to some urgent cases, traffic accidents,
increasing
Add an article
the increasing
an increasing
show examples
bill for kid
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fee which is insurmountable so most of those had to lend and have a big dept.
Conversely
, opponents argue that despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
earning less money, one obvious benefit regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
is
satisfication
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
and good mental health,
lifestyle
Correct word choice
and lifestyle
show examples
.
Thus
, having more spare time,
that is
to
say
Add a comma
,say
show examples
he or she can enjoy life
truthly
Correct your spelling
truly
to find out what her
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
his ambition, love and life target.
These individual
Change the determiner
This individual
These individuals
show examples
are not be pot under pressure,
Correct word choice
as illustrate
show examples
illustrate
Wrong verb form
illustrated
show examples
by freelancers, eventhough,
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
with
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
budget, they still live freely and making feel
ascatic
Correct your spelling
ascetic
which lead to no concern and less health sickness
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in contrast
with clerical work in
office
Add an article
the office
an office
show examples
. In short, I personally prefer to be a rich person and live fully without worrying rather than
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
one
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
it has some downsides.
Submitted by lnthanhvy06 on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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