IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The charts below show the number of people in Europe who were affected by four types of noise by day and by night in cities and rural areas in 2007.

The charts below show the number of people in Europe who were affected by four types of noise by day and by night in cities and rural areas in 2007.
#show #people #europe #four #noise #night #cities #areas
The
bie
Correct your spelling
pie
 charts give information about the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
people
 affected by
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
noise
 in Europe by
day
 and by
night
 in both urban and rural areas in 2007. The data is measured in millions for
traffic
,
train
,
aircraft
 and
industry
.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a
drammatic
Correct your spelling
dramatic
 increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
traffic
noise
 both
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
day
 and
night
,
while
people
 were not affected by
train
,
aircraft
 and
industry
 a lot in cities. The number of
people
 affected by
traffic
noise
 in rural areas uptook considerably by
night
 and by
day
,
while
 there was not any
noise
 by
industry
. Looking at the details, well over 50 and 60 million
people
affected
Add a missing verb
are affected
show examples
 by
traffic
 by
day
 and by
night
 respectively, which
showing
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 the highest number in the group.
However
, the
noise
 of
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 decreased sharply to 10 by
day
 and 8 by
night
 correspondingly. The index of
aircraft
 and
industry
noise
possesed
Correct your spelling
possessed
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 position in the group with 4 (
day
), 1 (
night
) and 1(
day
), 0.25(
night
)
accordingly
 in 2007. The number of
people
 who were affected by
noise
 in rural areas made up 34 by
day
,
while
 it declined by 10 by
night
. There were a
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
train
Add an article
the train
a train
show examples
 to 8 and 6,
aircraft
 to 2 and 1 by
day
 and
night
accordingly
,
while
people
 did not affect by
industry
 in
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
 of Europe in 2007.
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "accordingly, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, noise, day, night, traffic, train, aircraft, industry with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!