IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantage?

#people #children #ages #outweigh
It's been observed that presently, children are being born of older adults.
While
 some will say at that point in adult life they would have gained more knowledge and become more exposed, I'm of the opinion that having offspring at an older age can lead to the delivery of a child with a birth defect and
also
 the parents may not live long enough to enjoy the benefits and happiness that comes with raising the children as they have lived almost half of their years before procreating.
This
 essay
thus
 will show logical reasons with examples where necessary. Nowadays there are so many congenital diseases, more of them having no specific cause but we see old age as a risk factor, for ,example congenital heart malformations can be a result of old paternal life, cleft palate and lips
also
 have increasing parental as a risk factor, all of which might be
due to
 gene mutation from either parents leading to a defective offspring.
Furthermore
, when a woman decides to procreate say at 50, she might have lived almost half of her years on earth, and as
such
 might not have enough time left on the planet to watch her child or scion as the case maybe grow up and she
also
 gets to miss out on vital achievement on their lives, like when they get to drive their first car, or their weddings,
also
 some with maturity and illness that come
along with
 being old might not even be privileged enough love to train the child. In conclusion, it is my opinion that the disadvantage outweighs the advantage as it can result in congenital deformity of the offspring and
also
 an early separation of the offspring or children from the parents because of old age .
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: