Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #books #tv #computer #games

There is an argument that reading storybooks

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

a more positive impact on

children

than watching

or playing computer games. In my opinion, I do not agree with

this

idea. On the one hand, there are arguments that learning education from storybooks has benefits for

children

. One of the main reasons can be that

this

method is a traditional approach to education in school. Most academies still rely on textbooks and storybooks as primary resources for teaching

children

various subjects. Another reason can be that reading stories in books can help improve

children

’s ability to concentrate.

This

means when they read a book, they have to pay attention and focus on the words and the story.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

this

method encourages

children

to think deeply about what they are reading.

On the other hand

, In my view, information from

is easier and more quickly to be accessed by

kids

Firstly

, nowadays there are many

programs that teach

kids

things. In Korea,

for example

, EBS has educational shows just for

children

. They cover different subjects like science, history and language. By watching these shows,

kids

can learn new things and understand more about different topics.

Secondly

, we live in a world where technology is everywhere.

Kids

need to know how to use computers and other devices. Some games are made to be educational and help

kids

learn

while

having fun.

Thus

using

Change preposition

by using

show examples

technology,

kids

can adapt to the digital world and gain important skills for the future. In conclusion, it seems to me that the availability of educational

show

Fix the agreement mistake

shows

show examples

and the importance of technology make these activities valuable for

kids

to learn, grow, and prepare for the future.

Submitted by kim88974150 on Thu May 18 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that students should study in their own city. However, many students prefer to study far away from their home. Do the advantages of studying away from home outweigh the disadvantages

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Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is more useful for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.