Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #books #tv #computer #games

There is an argument that reading storybooks

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

a more positive impact on

children

than watching

or playing computer games. In my opinion, I do not agree with

this

idea. On the one hand, there are arguments that learning education from storybooks has benefits for

children

. One of the main reasons can be that

this

method is a traditional approach to education in school. Most academies still rely on textbooks and storybooks as primary resources for teaching

children

various subjects. Another reason can be that reading stories in books can help improve

children

’s ability to concentrate.

This

means when they read a book, they have to pay attention and focus on the words and the story.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

this

method encourages

children

to think deeply about what they are reading.

On the other hand

, In my view, information from

is easier and more quickly to be accessed by

kids

Firstly

, nowadays there are many

programs that teach

kids

things. In Korea,

for example

, EBS has educational shows just for

children

. They cover different subjects like science, history and language. By watching these shows,

kids

can learn new things and understand more about different topics.

Secondly

, we live in a world where technology is everywhere.

Kids

need to know how to use computers and other devices. Some games are made to be educational and help

kids

learn

while

having fun.

Thus

using

Change preposition

by using

show examples

technology,

kids

can adapt to the digital world and gain important skills for the future. In conclusion, it seems to me that the availability of educational

show

Fix the agreement mistake

shows

show examples

and the importance of technology make these activities valuable for

kids

to learn, grow, and prepare for the future.

Submitted by kim88974150 on Thu May 18 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention toit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people think we have a long time to pay attention to buying advertising goods. Other people say that we spend a less time to advertising.
6
band
60)Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. what problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?
It is widely acknowledged that the subject of youngsters using uncontrolled internet in contemporary nations is growing at a startling rate. The problem is bringing a state of depression among the multitudes, which tends to violence and impact on education. This paragraph will represent the possible effects of this problem, and possible remedies are also to be discussed and are listed below.
6
band
Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?
While many people recognize the importance of having access to public parks, others argue that this space could better serve communities by developing housing or businesses there. Although it is undeniable that such properties would create jobs and boost the local economy, I would argue that the green space in cities serves an equally important purpose in local people’s lives and that neighborhood parks can be maintained while also being used to generate revenue for cities.
6.5
band
ln many parts of the world, children orc given more freedom than in the past. ls this a positive or o negative development?
Nowadays, children in many parts of the world enjoy more freedom than in previous generations. This shift has sparked a debate on whether this change is beneficial or detrimental to children's development.
<4
band
In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?
It is unlawful for companies in some countries to reject volunteers for jobs due to their age. In my solid, opinion this is a negative trend due to the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention toit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

ln many parts of the world, children orc given more freedom than in the past. ls this a positive or o negative development?

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?