IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Question: Universities should accept equal number of males and females in every subject. To what extent do you agree?

#universities #males #females
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It is generally believed by some people that education institutions should fairly receive both males and females in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
students
Use synonyms
.
This
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 trend has both merits and demerits. I agree that tertiary schools should equally accept them without any discrimination
thus
Linking Words
 it shows that education is embracing gender equality
On the other hand
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, there are two advantages of implementing
this
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 policy at universities. First and foremost, the schools will be more attracted to gain some pupils
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
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 part of that institution, even though the ranking perhaps is not high.
In addition
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, the proportions of boys and girls
is
Change the verb form
are
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same
Correct article usage
the same
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, so the environment
more
Add a missing verb
is more
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 dynamic and lively to learn.
Secondly
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, science, technology, engineering, and math are always identical to males, yet
by
Change preposition
apply
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receiving an equal amount of each gender will give big opportunities for females to be scientists.
However
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,
this
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 notion surely has a drawback in development. The primary disadvantage of
this
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 approach. In some cases especially in engineering subjects in which strong mental and physical are required, if female pupils are accepted in
this
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 subject, it is absolutely they will be faced
a
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apply
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big trouble to finish their studies because of its obstacles, and the consequences will affect the reputation of the universities
due to
Linking Words
 high rates of unfinished
students
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, and ultimately their ranks will drop down.
To sum up
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,
although
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 there are obvious negative possibilities of because of accepted female and male
students
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 in engineering programs, its benefit
have
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has
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 clear victory over them because
the
Change preposition
of the
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 benefits in terms of a good environment and opportunities for both
students
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 to attain high education. I strongly agree of universities should accept an equal number of males and females in each program.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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