Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their freetime. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #freetime

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There has been an interesting debate on whether children should be encouraged to partake in group activities rather than focusing on their personal goals.

This

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essay will discuss both views,

however

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, In my opinion, I believe participating in a group function will foster their growth better. On the one hand, regular participation with peers and age groups will build their self-esteem. Engaging in activities with others entails giving everyone the opportunity to participate and the more kids engage in these programs, the greater their esteem which can help them give a speech confidently in public.

Also

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, it promotes healthy relationships. Their interaction with people will help them in bonding with others and

such

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a relationship might prove beneficial in future,

furthermore

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, it can aid in improving their intellect because there will be healthy competition to be outstanding amongst them which will give them the zeal to read more .

On the other hand

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, kids having their own personal activities can increase their potential of being self-dependent. Young people can discover their skills and in-built talents easily through

this

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means.

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, it aids in making children more responsibility oriented.

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entails not always depending on others to get things done.

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, a preschool student who has been taught on using a potty,if he/she is allowed to practice on their own, will master the act and will sooner not require assistance. In conclusion, both measures have their different advantages, though we should sometimes allow young folks to practice things independently, there is greater benefit in encouraging them to join their peers more often as it will enhance and prepare them to be productive adults in society.

Submitted by chidinmaelisha24 on Fri May 19 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their freetime. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Other believes the money should be spent on improving exisitng public transport. Discuss both views and give your own pinion.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has had negative effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

As well as making money, businessess also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?