IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

To achieve
Fix the infinitive
Achieve
show examples
 more success in
sports
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 some people believe that it is more crucial to cultivate your mentality than physicality, others argue that physical
health
Use synonyms
 is more vital for
athletes
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 paper, I will discuss both viewpoints in-depth and present examples to show why the latter assertion is more compelling. On the one hand, sportsmen have to train their mental
health
Use synonyms
 to compete with every mental issue that they may suffer.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they need to surpass themselves to reach higher achievements. In many situations, they may feel stressed or depressed when they need to surpass their highest records to reach new ones.
Thus
Linking Words
, if they do not have enough motivation, they may give up and completely lose themselves.
In contrast
Linking Words
, they can reach their aims if they have enough enthusiasm and easily gain better achievements in their fields.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are many disappointments and failures that they have to suffer, so they need to have a sustainable mentality to get over.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, Many criticized comments are received and they need to overcome all of them and continue to focus on new targets.
For example
Linking Words
, the Vietnamese men's football club lost the final match 2 years ago,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, they overcame that failure and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the winner of that league in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe that physicality is the basis for every success in sport.
While
Linking Words
 mental
health
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
athletes
Use synonyms
 to have a sustainable attitude,
sports
Use synonyms
 achievements firmly
base
Wrong verb form
based
show examples
 on sportsmen's physical
health
Use synonyms
. The main reason would be to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 their physical strength to compete with other competitors in
sports
Use synonyms
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
. To become the winner, they need to train physically and improve their experience through many training courses in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long term.
As a result
Linking Words
, they have enough physical standards to compete and reach as
a higher
Correct word choice
high
show examples
 achievement as possible, weightlifting and Karatedo could be feasible instances
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many competitions are based on
athletes
Use synonyms
' weight and
health
Use synonyms
 to separate them into suitable articles, which means they need to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robust physical
health
Use synonyms
 to win against others who have similarities in terms of
health
Use synonyms
 and become the winner. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 mental
health
Use synonyms
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
athletes
Use synonyms
 to surpass themselves and overcome disappointments and failures that they have to suffer, I concur that physical strength is more critical for sportsmen
due to
Linking Words
 physicality is the basic factor for every success in
sports
Use synonyms

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly outline your main points in the introduction and summarize them in the conclusion. This helps the reader understand your argument better.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use simpler sentences and clear ideas. Some sentences are a bit complicated and can confuse the reader.
task achievement
Include more examples to support your arguments. For instance, when discussing physical strength, you could mention specific sports or athletes who demonstrate this.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with grammar and punctuation, as some sentences have errors that can distract from your ideas. Proofreading can help find these mistakes.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument well and give a clear opinion, which is a strong point in your essay.
task achievement
Your use of examples, like the Vietnamese men's football club, adds credibility to your arguments and helps engage the reader.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical conditioning
  • athleticism
  • physical training
  • muscle strength
  • mental resilience
  • psychological preparedness
  • mental toughness
  • confidence
  • precision
  • focus
  • mental strategies
  • mental fortitude
  • brute strength
What to do next:
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