IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#books #internet #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the majority of
information
Use synonyms
 is stored online rather than in physical books as it was in the past. I will examine the advantages and disadvantages of
information
Use synonyms
 storage media and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantages of transferring
knowledge
Use synonyms
 to the
internet
Use synonyms
 are that it is easy to use and contains much
information
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
information
Use synonyms
 stored on the
internet
Use synonyms
 presumably is easy to access when the user desires to upload or download the
information
Use synonyms
. The online document is almost universally accessible wherever the user wants to access it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that it might provide various conveniences.
Secondly
Linking Words
, finding
information
Use synonyms
 through online system offer
numerous
Fix the agreement mistake
a lot of
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
 either from
people
Use synonyms
 who upload their
knowledge
Use synonyms
, scientist, or well-known university publisher.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 Google, the most famous search engine in the world, present an easiness in term of searching for
knowledge
Use synonyms
 on the
internet
Use synonyms
, and
also
Linking Words
 it contains a lot of sources that might be useful to broaden
people
Use synonyms
's horizons.
However
Linking Words
, on the
internet
Use synonyms
, there are some unnecessary ads that might pop up when
people
Use synonyms
 try to find
information
Use synonyms
 that can distract
people
Use synonyms
 from concentration.
This
Linking Words
 is because it can increase the attraction to open the ads and it will impact the result of finding
knowledge
Use synonyms
 when
people
Use synonyms
 get less concentration.
In addition
Linking Words
, browsing
knowledge
Use synonyms
 online might incline the tendency to spend a lot of time in front of
gadget’s
Correct article usage
a gadget’s
show examples
 screen.
Since the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 overuse of the
internet
Use synonyms
 can harm the eyes of the user
due to
Linking Words
 the brightness and x-ray from the monitor.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescents
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 their gadget too much for
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
 and
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
obtain
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a severe impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their eyesight in
which it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
insist
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
use
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
glasses even when they are still young.
However
Linking Words
, giving
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper guidance and good insight from authorities and parents probably can eliminate these disadvantages. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 surfing the
knowledge
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
 has certain negative effects
like interfere
Change preposition
interfering
show examples
Use synonyms
Change preposition
with people
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 focus and
harm
Wrong verb form
harming
show examples
 effect in eye-health,
I
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 has an extremely positive influence on convenience of use and provides a large number of sources for
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. I believe that these benefits of
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 outweigh its drawbacks.
Submitted by arif.purnomo.aji on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the given topic. Avoid going off-topic or providing irrelevant information.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas together to create a logical flow in the essay. Use transition words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • E-learning
  • Virtual libraries
  • Cyberspace
  • Search engine literacy
  • Critical evaluation skills
  • Open-source information
  • Data mining
  • Intellectual property
  • Digital preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: