In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regards it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

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In the past, shopping was defined as a routine domestic task, but nowadays many

people

are starting to define shopping as a hobby. In my opinion, I think it is a positive trend. First of all, in the past, when

people

were going shopping they usually just went to a place where they could buy the things they wanted, and after the mission was completed they went straight back home.

Usually

Add a comma

,Usually

show examples

this

kind of routine never takes long.

On the other hand

, nowadays when

people

go shopping, they usually will go to a random mall which has a lot of stores for them to walk and spend their entire day in that mall. But

instead

of buying things that are necessary, they just like to spend time there.

Although

some

people

might see that as wasting time or wasting

money

to buy something

that is

not necessary, they are having fun doing

this

. In modern days, lots of teenagers decide to stay at home all day looking at

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

screens playing video games and doing nothing. If more teenagers' hobbies are shopping they will go outside more often

instead

of staying at home. Some benefits of having shopping as a hobby

Change the verb form

are

show examples

that

people

can go outside and walk more often, they will even feel happy going shopping.

Although

shopping can not be defined as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

exercise, walking more often is still good for their own body. The one and only disadvantage is that they might be spending too much

money

and waste a lot of

money

, but

this

situation can be solved if they were

teached

Correct your spelling

taught

show examples

how to use

money

rationally. In conclusion, having shopping as a hobby is a positive trend because not only can it make them happy, it is good for their physical health too.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

there are not a lot of disadvantages.

Submitted by soumya.krishnamurthy on Fri May 19 2023

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

consumerism
retail therapy
materialism
disposable income
economic growth
financial instability
environmental impact
social interaction
community building
emotional satisfaction
advertising influence
shopping habits

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In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regards it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

People are living much longer than before, and this creates enormous pressure on government services. What are some of the effects of a much larger, older population and what can governments do to deal with this problem?

Some companies sponsor sports and sports stars as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some cities, people prefer riding bicycles rather than drive cars. In some other cities, people choose to drive cars rather than ride bicycles. What are the reasons for their preferences? Which one do you think is a better development?

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most siginificant influence. Discuss both views and opinion.