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Band 4.5

some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing

#people #lives #change
Some
people
 argue that there is not nothing bad if you are
sticked
Correct your spelling
stuck
show examples
 doing
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 activities regularly
while
 others can not live without changing. In
this
 essay, I will look
both
Change preposition
at both
show examples
 sides of the argument and give my own opinion. On the one hand, if we do things regularly,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 it helps us to be more organized. Our life starts being managed
due to
 our routine and the way we are living.
For
example
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,example
show examples
 doing exercise
everyday
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every day
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 helps you to
being
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be
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 fit and healthy. Other good habits like reading, healthy eating and meditation were built on regularly practising.
Finally
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,Finally
show examples
 we can build
self discipline
Add a hyphen
self-discipline
show examples
 by forcing ourselves
execute
Fix the infinitive
to execute
show examples
 things cyclically. From
childhood
Add a comma
,childhood
show examples
 everybody used to learn new skills
with
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in
show examples
this
 way.
On the other hand
, I believe that doing something new with our life scenery
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
 us to be our better version day by day or year by year. As
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
days go and seasons change we
also
 cannot remain unchanged. As a being older our behaviour and interest
also
 change.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
 we don't become friends with
people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 were close to us in our childhood. The reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 we are changed and
taste
Correct article usage
the taste
show examples
 in
people
 is different
than
Change the preposition
from
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 before. If we don't do changes, how
we
Add a missing verb
do we
show examples
 know
is
Correct word choice
if is
show examples
 something better for us? We should try new subjects, tastes, travels and everything
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we can.
As a result
, we can create new opportunities. In conclusion,
while
people
 are building
self discipline
Add a hyphen
self-discipline
show examples
 by doing
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 things, I believe that we can not rebuild our best version without new experiences.
Submitted by sevaraalijonovna on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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