IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays online shopping becomes more popular than in-store shopping. Is it a positive or a negative development? Give your reasons and examples.

#development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
No doubt that these days technology has made the process of buying
items
Use synonyms
 on websites easier and it has been proven beneficial for people. I will discuss the reasons with examples in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with the pros of buying products online, first and foremost is that it is time-saving as people can buy anything using their phones without visiting the shops which saves their travel time and individuals do not waste their time in ques for checking out the
items
Use synonyms
 because online payments are much easier nowadays.
For example
Linking Words
, Amazon is the biggest company all over the world which has a variety of
items
Use synonyms
 that are difficult to find in stores at the same location which is making shopping more convenient and time-saving for shoppers.
As a result
Linking Words
, it has become the shopping hub in the whole world as it is saving time for customers. Moving
further
Linking Words
, price comparison is another benefit of shopping online as a number of products are available online which has the same quality but are sold by different brands which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to a difference in the price range.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it gives opportunity to the consumer to make
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right decision of spending the money.
For instance
Linking Words
, Walmart and Freco are two different grocery stores with different prices of grocery
items
Use synonyms
 and online grocery shopping is giving the benefit of price comparison
two
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 the customers which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 difficult to
be done
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 in-store.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, individuals are making online shopping their priority than buying
in-storestore
Correct your spelling
in-store store
. In conclusion, it can be seen that online buying has many benefits which are not possible
in-storestore
Correct word choice
in-store
show examples
 shopping.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is making the life of human beings easier and
convenient
Correct quantifier usage
more convenient
show examples
 and making a difference in the market positively.
Submitted by gill.g24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Provide a clear opinion on whether online shopping is a positive or negative development. Support your opinion with specific reasons and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in the logical flow of the ideas and development of arguments.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there is a need for more precise and varied use of vocabulary to express ideas effectively.
Grammatical Range
The essay shows a decent command of grammar with varied sentence structures, but there are instances of errors that affect the overall clarity and accuracy of the language.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: