IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #government #expenditure #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart gives information about
government
Use synonyms
 expenditure between 2010 to 2015 years . At first ,glance it is evident that education , healthcare and pensions spend more than other kinds of
government
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
, in
2010
Change the article
the 2010
show examples
 year .
This
Linking Words
 year
government
Use synonyms
 spend a significant amount on Education , which has approximately a quarter percentage , healthcare , pensions and defence
also
Linking Words
 have similar indicators.
However
Linking Words
 the most under index in culture and leisure and welfare . They are not widely used,
therefore
Linking Words
 have below the norms. Average things which the
government
Use synonyms
 spend rarely they are transport and interest on borrowing .
The both
Remove the article
Both
show examples
 kinds have one in twenty per cent. A
simillar
Correct your spelling
similar
 pattern shows in the 2015 period . The indicators remain unchanged ,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 the amount of welfare increases to thirteen per cent,
likewise
Linking Words
 the interest on borrowing
also
Linking Words
 grows to one in ten indexes. The number of pensions slightly alters.
Submitted by araika.nk on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words government with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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