IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that fittest and strongest individuals and the team can achieve success in sports, while others believe that success depends on mental attitude. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Modern society has been facing a dramatic surge in the among of people who
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 allow violate mental
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
.
Desciplince
Correct your spelling
Discipline
 is an issue that generates heated debates with supporters maintaining that
regar
Correct your spelling
regard
 between
Use synonyms
Add an article
the team
show examples
team
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
show examples
. Some experts tend to ascertain that strict discipline mainly
influnce
Correct your spelling
influences
 for
Use synonyms
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 claim resonates with me to some extent. I believe that both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
productive
Add a missing verb
are productive
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
team
Add an article
the team
show examples
. The first and foremost why I reckon that
Use synonyms
team
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
show examples
 and
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 can attain success are rooted in the fact that strong education and discipline give
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 influence. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 salient
example
Add a comma
,example
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 Omarov Dastan trainer in football always
prefer
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prefers
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 working and
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 with
him
Change the pronoun
his
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 group.
Widely-known
Correct your spelling
Widely known
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 that Dastan is
famous
Add an article
a famous
the famous
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 trainer . When he was
early
Correct article usage
an early
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 teenage experience Dastan matured and improved their drawbacks with all of
Use synonyms
team
Add an article
the team
show examples
 . He rarely
play
Change the verb form
plays
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 football solo , often
gived
Correct your spelling
given
give
gives
prever
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to group play.
Furethemore
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Furthermore
, it is worth
mention
Replace the word
mentioning
show examples
 that sometimes strict
displine
Correct your spelling
discipline
 can violate mental health . Another significant reason how
can
Correct pronoun usage
one can
show examples
 achieve
succsess
Correct your spelling
success
 it is depends on
psycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
 state. To clarify Arystan
team
Use synonyms
 always improves their mistakes with experts and
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
.
Linking Words
likewise
Add a comma
,likewise
show examples
 the time manage more comfortable than
other measure
Change the wording
another measure
other measures
show examples
. Every after game Arystan people
taked
Correct your spelling
took
show examples
 place a
pirty
Correct your spelling
party
. Despite the prominent arguments in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of
team
Use synonyms
achiement
Correct your spelling
achievement
, I admit that strong , fittest people
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 mental attitude.
To conclude
Linking Words
 , I strongly believe that
team
Use synonyms
 attain have significant
connect
Replace the word
connection
show examples
 with strong disciplines in
Use synonyms
team
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
show examples
 or groups.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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