IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that wealth is the best way to judge wether someone is successful. What is your opinion?

#people #wealth #judge #wether #someone
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is thought by Some
people
Use synonyms
 that richness means success. I totally disagree with that statement, I consider having a successful
life
Use synonyms
 it is not related to the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 you have.
Firstly
Linking Words
, individuals have different goals for their lives and achieving those ones is what makes them successful. Some
people
Use synonyms
 found more important to have free time to enjoy with their lovers rather than spending long hours every day at work. Having a high salary sometimes means having many responsibilities and hectic schedules that may lead to high levels of stress and a lack of free time.
Hence
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 choose to work just the amount of hours that are necessary to be able to afford basic
things
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as studies, rent, food for meals, health insurance, and clothes.
Secondly
Linking Words
, even though
money
Use synonyms
 allows you to travel to stunning places, know foreign cultures, own a house and many other
things
Use synonyms
, it does not make you successful. There are more valuable
things
Use synonyms
 in
life
Use synonyms
 than being happy with what you do for a living despite how much you earn and having a close and good relationship with your relatives and friends. In conclusion, accomplished
life
Use synonyms
 does not mean having
money
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that if you are rich because you succeed, there are more valuable
things
Use synonyms
 to reach in
life
Use synonyms
 rather than the capital you have. Getting a job that you find interesting and like to go, to and being surrounded by good
people
Use synonyms
 is more valuable than
money
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by jimeilaria on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: