IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. but others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interesting. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue that students should pay attention to all subjects,
while
Linking Words
 others say that they should just focus on the attractive ones. In
this
Linking Words
 report, I will go through both sides of
this
Linking Words
 argument, and
then
Linking Words
 allow me to share my point of view. School courses are boring, difficult, and time-consuming;
as a consequence
Linking Words
, many learners feel bored going to school.
However
Linking Words
, some people say that going there will be more interesting if they concentrate on their favourite ones only.
For example
Linking Words
, in Saudia Arabia, policymakers have developed courses so that learners get the ability to learn their favourite subjects only;
as a result
Linking Words
, the statistics show fewer absences,
as well as
Linking Words
 more students, feel encouraged and motivated to learn.
Moreover
Linking Words
, teenagers become more creative
while
Linking Words
 studying an interesting subject. For
further
Linking Words
 explanation, studies indicate that more inventions and ideas arose because of being passionate about the field. Even though some of them can not understand specific complex classes like mathematics, they are capable of creating astonishing creations in other fields.
Although
Linking Words
 the points mentioned above are strong, there are adverse points that hold equal strength.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is essential to have general knowledge about a variety of fields. Many reports showed that teenagers do not learn about anything unless the teachers teach them about it, so stopping teaching them various classes will lead to a significant lack of information.
Secondly
Linking Words
, students might change their opinion about the field if they understand it. Many people acknowledged that after learning a subject, they become passionate about it
although
Linking Words
 they did not like it at the beginning. In conclusion, even though learning a variety of academic courses is joyful, helpful, and necessary, studying specific fields is more interesting, useful, and important because of that, I believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are good at.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to ensure that your essay has a clear position throughout the response. While you have discussed both viewpoints and provided your own opinion, making your position more prominent could enhance the overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to help with the flow of ideas. This will aid in achieving a more cohesive and structured argument throughout your essay.
task achievement
Consider exploring and presenting the counter-arguments or limitations of your stance in a bit more depth. This adds a layer of sophistication and critical thinking to your essay.
coherence cohesion
You've done well to introduce and conclude your essay, setting a clear framework for your argument.
task achievement
You provided clear examples and reasons to support your points, which strengthened your argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay, with paragraphs dedicated to discussing both sides of the argument followed by your own opinion, was logical and clear.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: