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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, discusses about children education taking their place a lot.

Nowadays, discusses
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 taking their place a lot. I think it is
due to
Linking Words
last
Linking Words
 events, like
bulling
Correct your spelling
bullying
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools or some villain actions of
children
Use synonyms
 and something like
this
Linking Words
. As
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
, many people started to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
child
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
, someone
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 that
parents
Use synonyms
 must take
response
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
 and educate them,
Correct word choice
while other
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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think that
this
Linking Words
 role
already
Add a missing verb
is already
show examples
 busy by schools, colleges and
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 and
such
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 places are not fulfilling their task clearly. And there might appear question, who is right? In my opinion,
both
Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system must take
Correct article usage
a response
show examples
response
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 that, because in the
Use synonyms
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
both
Use synonyms
 of them take a huge role. What I mean,
when
Add a missing verb
is when
show examples
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
 is young, he is educated by his
parents
Use synonyms
, they teach him or her, how to act like
human
Correct article usage
a human
show examples
, how
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 is working, like, why
sky
Add an article
the sky
show examples
 is blue and something like that. At that
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 he only makes
fundament
Correct article usage
a fundament
show examples
 for his future
life
Use synonyms
. When
Use synonyms
child
Add an article
a child
the child
show examples
 grows up, he takes lessons in school, after that maybe in colleges or university, and in
such
Linking Words
places
Add a comma
,places
show examples
 he continues to learn, how to act like
human
Add an article
a human
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, he makes friends and
meet
Change the verb form
meets
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 a lot of new people, especially
children
Use synonyms
. And that young
bloods
Change the wording
blood
types of blood
drops of blood
show examples
 will impact that
child
Use synonyms
 and workers in
education
Use synonyms
 places must observe that influence for
children
Use synonyms
's sake, because that influence can hurt either
physical
Change the word
physically
show examples
 or
mental
Change the word
mentally
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 must take a look
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their
child
Use synonyms
,
ask
Correct word choice
and ask
show examples
 him about his school
life
Use synonyms
 and if he
act
Change the verb form
acts
show examples
 strangely they
need
Add the particle
toneed
show examples
 make some action about that. So, I think that in
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
life
Use synonyms
both
Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system must take
response
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
 for their
life
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because in
Use synonyms
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
both
Use synonyms
 of them have a serious impact, and if either parent or
education
Use synonyms
 system decides to leave all responses
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other one, that can have a bad result on
child
Use synonyms
's
life
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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