Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than other people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think It is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Much debate has arisen as to whether higher wages in sport professions is in fact adequate or not.
While
other professions work as hard and play an important role in society as athletes.
However
, they do not earn as much as occupations in the sports fields do.
This
essay will examine both sides of the debate and I will conclude with my own personal opinion.
To begin
with, there are people who believe that the earnings of professional athletes are fair and reasonable, whilst others disagree and argue that it is unjustifiable. On the one hand, becoming a professional in sports is extremely difficult. Considering that individuals who pursue a career in
this
field need to be trained for years.
Also
, to be healthy enough to
last
in
this
field for a long time requires various resources and training. Advocates of
this
believe that their higher income is necessary for providing them with physical training, types of equipment, and strategy planning.
Such
as hiring personal trainers and buying good equipment.
On the other hand
, we cannot overlook the aspects of other professions that require as much time and money. Certainly, most of the important jobs in contemporary society
earned
Wrong verb form
earn
show examples
less than work in the physical field.
Therefore
, the second opinion stated that it is unacceptable and upsetting.
For example
, doctors, firefighters, and soldiers who risk their lives to save peoples ,
in contrast
with their tight schedule, their finance is concerning.
Moreover
, doctors' university fee is quite high, resulting in loaning money to pay for their fees. In general, most of their wages go to paying for their debts. To summarize, my view is that despite sports dominating current society, citizens
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
given too much attention to it. It is undeniable that physical activity and TV programs are needed for individuals. Yet, it is undignified for doctors, nurses, and other unfairly treated workers to receive any less.
Hence
,
it is clear that
the idea of differences in treatment in incomes cannot be supported.
Submitted by Samara.302823 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear paraphrase of the topic and does not introduce the main points. The conclusion is not effectively structured and does not summarize the main points.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task but does not provide a clear opinion at the end of the essay. The main points lack development and the examples are not fully relevant to the main arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
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