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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. • Do you agree or disagree? • Which types of workers do you think should benet from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benet
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Having a retirement age set for everybody could be fair for most
of
Change preposition
apply
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workers, but unfair for some categories. Some types of work,
such
Linking Words
 as manual ones or those which require high concentration, should not be done
from
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by
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 people over a certain age.
Therefore
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, I agree with the assumption that
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 spent many years doing those activities should get a pension earlier than others. Other than deserving that, I think that it is
also
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 a matter of safety and responsibility
,
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apply
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 since some occupations involve a good level of alertness. Regarding the specific types of workers, I would distinguish between physical and intellectual jobs. As for the first ones, there are activities that, in spite of someone's
strenght
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strength
 and good shape, are very demanding. As a matter of fact, men and women who spent many years lifting weights or digging caves deserve to stop working in advance compared to clerks and white collars.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some jobs requiring to be constantly focused and extremely careful, like pilots or surgeons, should not be done for too long. On the whole,
retirement
Correct article usage
the retirement
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 age ought to be decided depending both on the characteristics of work and on the total years of activity.
Submitted by carlotty61bis on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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