The chart below compares the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities in 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below compares the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities in 2013.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart shows the
time
Use synonyms
Australian
parents
Use synonyms
spent helping their
children
Use synonyms
with four different activities in 2013. First of all, the figures show that
mothers
Use synonyms
were much more involved
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when the
children
Use synonyms
got help from one single parent.
Mothers
Use synonyms
spent most
time
Use synonyms
helping their
children
Use synonyms
with dressing,
whereas
Linking Words
less
time
Use synonyms
was dedicated to playing games alone with them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, most hours invested by fathers
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
related to homework,
while
Linking Words
dressing was the activity they helped the less with. Regarding the activities where both
parents
Use synonyms
were involved, playing games is at the first place, taking 70 per cent of their
time
Use synonyms
, followed by dressing and preparing for bed, for which both
parents
Use synonyms
spent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of their
time
Use synonyms
. Playing games is
also
Linking Words
an activity that
mothers
Use synonyms
seem to prefer doing
together with
Linking Words
the father rather than alone,
whereas
Linking Words
preparing for bed shows almost the same percentage for
mothers
Use synonyms
and for
parents
Use synonyms
together.
Overall
Linking Words
,
mothers
Use synonyms
are surely more involved in spending
time
Use synonyms
taking care of their
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
needs.
Submitted by carlotty61bis on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, parents, children, mothers with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • time spent
  • Australian mothers
  • fathers
  • helping
  • children
  • activities
  • reading
  • homework
  • playing sports
  • general play
  • comparison
  • 2013
  • significantly
  • difference
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