IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The money spent on space research has brought enormous benefits to mankind, but it could be more usefully applied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people suggest that the
money
Use synonyms
 they spent on universe
research
Use synonyms
 has brought enormous benefits to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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, but it could invest in
another important projects
Replace the adjective
another important project
other important projects
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. Personally, I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, investing
money
Use synonyms
 in researching
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space helps human have more experience and it
also
Linking Words
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 more knowledge about the universe
as well as
Linking Words
 the things surrounding the place they
alive
Add a missing verb
are alive
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. They can find out and
discovery
Replace the word
discover
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 more new things in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
such
Linking Words
 as
meteorite
Fix the agreement mistake
meteorites
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, the rest of the rocket or something else about the planets.
For example
Linking Words
, in the past, the first human, who set foot on the moon to
discovery
Replace the word
discover
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 or
launching
Wrong verb form
launch
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 rocket and so on. All of
this
Linking Words
 discovery will open
Correct article usage
the human’s
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human’s
Change noun form
human
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 mind and it play an important role in the
research
Use synonyms
 and develop science.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
research
Use synonyms
,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 will
also
Linking Words
 learn more knowledge and they might be the next generation who can change the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, spending
money
Use synonyms
 on
another thing
Fix the agreement mistake
other things
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such
Linking Words
 as
economic
Replace the word
economics
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,
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
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,
entertainment
Correct word choice
and entertainment
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 might be better. Nowadays, many people prefer having a quality
live
Replace the word
life
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at
Change preposition
in
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 the present to worrying about the future. They only care about their family and the way to earning to their
live
Replace the word
living
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as well as
Linking Words
 take care
for
Change preposition
of
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 their family. So many people get
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
 and they will find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pleasure
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
entertain
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, investing in
entertain
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
 will bring more benefits than spending
money
Use synonyms
 on space
research
Use synonyms
. In general, science is very significant but I think investing in the present will bring more benefits to mankind and it could be more usefully applied.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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