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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The money spent on space research has brought enormous benefits to mankind, but it could be more usefully applied. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#money #space #research #mankind
Nowadays, when technology has increased, people want to discover more about the world and
also
 the
universe
.
As a result
, many governments spent much
money
 on
space
 research to bring enormous benefits to mankind. But for me, I just partly agree with it because that cash could be more usefully applied.
Firstly
, I will come up with why the
space
discover
Replace the word
discovery
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 brought huge benefits to
humans
. Most of
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 for
space
 experience was spent
for
Change preposition
on
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 building
the
Correct article usage
apply
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spaceships and satellites to discover the galaxy. As can be seen, experience outside the Earth is very hard but with the
money
 spent on it, many important information about our
universe
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 sent to the Earth. Discovering
space
 can help
humans
 to know more about how everything around us
were
Change the verb form
was
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 created and what our
space
 looks like.
Moreover
, when our planet has to handle many effects like global warming or greenhouse effects which were created by mankind,
as a result
, many scientists warn that our planet will be destroyed soon in the future. And the
universe
Change noun form
universe's
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explore
Replace the word
exploration
show examples
 will bring
humans
 opportunities to find “another Earth” for our lives.
In
Change preposition
On
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 the other hand, I think that
money
 spent
for
Change preposition
on
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space
discover
Replace the word
discovery
show examples
 could be more usefully applied. As an example, there have been many accidents when researching
universe
Correct article usage
the universe
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such
 as wrongly creating spaceships that
also
 lose
money
 and
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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governments.
Along with
 that reason, that amount of
money
 can be invested
for
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in
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 other fields like education, science and physics or concentrating more
about
Change preposition
on
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 the environment around us to preserve our planet.
To conclude
, spending
money
 on
space
 research can bring much important information to mankind but I think the governments
also
 should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
concentrate
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
humans’
Change noun form
humans
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 lives
of
Change preposition
in
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 their countries and
also
 habitats to protect our world.
Submitted by nguyencamnhi on

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