IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example, working for a charity improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
Some individuals believe that at high school students should be forced to
work
 in some
community
services
 that have no
money
 in it like working for a charity improving the neighbourhood and teaching sports to younger children. I firmly agree with
this
 idea and believe it should be mandatory for high school students
however
 both views will be discussed. On the one hand, some say that it is wrong to do some public
services
 for free. They say that students at that age should get paid so they get less
money
 from their parents, learn how to handle their expenses, and after all how to spend their
money
 wisely during the upcoming month and eventually it gives them satisfaction.
Thus
 they tend to
work
 better when they get paid.
for example
, they have to
work
 hard during the day rather than hanging out with their friends and if they
work
 without any income,
then
 they don’t
work
 so well and get frustrated soon because they are doing it against their will.
On the other hand
, other people say they have to
work
 at that age because the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. they will learn numerous skills that will end up having benefits, like they will learn to socialize and how to deal with different people and even find their own interests.
For instance
, I am a shy person and I really seek for
this
 job opportunities because I believe
this
 will help me to fight against my shyness . Another key feature that unpaid
community
services
 offer is that they will remind them how hard it is to make
money
hence
 They know the value of
money
 and how hard the parents
work
 to make
money
, and
this
 will end up in spending less.
For example
, a friend of mine used to spend a lot on useless products, but just after participating in some
community
 service, that offered no
money
 he tended to spend less and knew how valuable is
money
 in his life. To sum it up, I firmly believe that unpaid
community
services
 should be compulsory because they will remind us how hard it is to make
money
, and
also
 will increase our social abilities.
Submitted by dr.alirafati on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: