IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Despite abundant ways of entertainment nowadays, why according to your opinion the circus is still very popular? Discuss

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 cutting-edge epoch, despite numerous ways of entertainment. People can do enjoyment by watching videos
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and playing games on electronic
gadgets
Use synonyms
, but the
circus
Use synonyms
 is still very famous among individuals.
Due to
Linking Words
 a plethora of reasons they like to see circuses which will be elaborated in the upcoming paragraphs. To embark with , a
number
Use synonyms
 of reasons why the
circus
Use synonyms
 is still very popular despite the numerous electronic
gadgets
Use synonyms
 available for entertainment. The predominant one is that in a
circus
Use synonyms
 people can do a
lot
Use synonyms
 of amusement especially
children
Use synonyms
 as there are a myriad of
animals
Use synonyms
 who are trained. They entertain a
lot
Use synonyms
 of individuals with
things
Use synonyms
 on the stage
such
Linking Words
 as dancing, funny actions and so on. Juveniles like to watch these
things
Use synonyms
 as after watching the actions of
animals
Use synonyms
 they always feel very happy. A survey conducted by the USA revealed that 67% of
children
Use synonyms
 liked to visit a
circus
Use synonyms
 as there were a
number
Use synonyms
 of
things
Use synonyms
 performed by
animals
Use synonyms
 in order to amuse
children
Use synonyms
 and jugglers which
also
Linking Words
 attracted
children
Use synonyms
 by showing their dance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, parents
also
Linking Words
 encourage their little ones for visiting the
circus
Use synonyms
 as they can get motivation from there in order to do any difficult task in their life. In the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
circus
Use synonyms
 there is a
number
Use synonyms
 of
things
Use synonyms
 done by
animals
Use synonyms
 which attracts a
lot
Use synonyms
 to many
children
Use synonyms
. After vising
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
circus
Use synonyms
 they like to go again and again over there as they attract a
lot
Use synonyms
 by seeing
Use synonyms
circus
Correct article usage
the circus
show examples
 of
animals
Use synonyms
. If they use smartphones or other
gadgets
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 it would put a bad impact on little ones.
Instead
Linking Words
 of giving mobile phones to
children
Use synonyms
 parents like to take them to the
circus
Use synonyms
.They could learn useful
things
Use synonyms
 in a
circus
Use synonyms
 which they cannot be able to learn from other places.
Circus
Use synonyms
 is very renowned among people as it amuses them, so it is a good thing for enjoyment. Ergo, after watching the
circus
Use synonyms
 they could live a happy and healthy life as they can prevent numerous diseases. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 numerous
gadgets
Use synonyms
 are available for entertainment, there are a
number
Use synonyms
 of the masses who like to visit circuses with their little ones and the
circus
Use synonyms
 is still popular among individuals.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: