In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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‏In recent years, preserving
data
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on networks has become a topic of ongoing debate. In previous decades people
use
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used
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to save
information
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in books. I will
further
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this
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discussion by
enlighting
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enlightening
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some factors and illustrating the pros and cons. ‏
Firstly
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, there are several advantages of keeping the
data
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on the
internet
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one of them being the availability feature, now you can access the
data
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anywhere and anytime from any device.
Furthermore
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researching specific
information
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on the
internet
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platform by clicking a button enormous of documentaries will appear
while
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you sitting in your chair at the speed of light
.on
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On
top of
it
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that
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, it the time saving ,unlike the books which you have to search deeply
internet
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provides
data
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in milliseconds. Because of advanced technology every
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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in your hand.
for example
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, the Google platform,
although
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there is debate about
information
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validity,
that is
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why no one can deny the utility. ‏
On the contrary
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, a few critical drawbacks must be considered, hackers can reach to some
information
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and alter
this
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content . that could lead to ‏wrong
data
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received by people, which ‏in turn resulted in ‏invalid
information
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to the users .
Although
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accessibility
considers
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is considered
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a pros children can be in danger , Young people spend hours on their devices and without parents monitoring them could be exposed to sensitive content. As an example, ‏Some ads for children's apps can have hidden messages for sensitive ages. In order to, ‏the can receive a negative impact unless their parents are involved. ‏
Overall
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, based on the above discussion having
information
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on the
Internet
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can be harmful. ‏All in all ,
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although
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despite
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the appeal of storing knowledge on the network including the availability and accessibility, I consider that no one can deny the harmful and destroyed impact .
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task response
Your essay provides a basic response to the question, but it lacks depth and detailed analysis. Try to expand on your points and provide more insightful arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more effectively. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Consider using linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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