Nowadays a growing number of boys and girls within normal weight ranges have an intense fear of gaining weight and therefore get anorexia. Why do you think a lot of teenagers have a strong desire to be skinny? What can be done to prevent this eating disorder?

#boys #girls #weight #ranges #fear #anorexia #teenagers #desire #disorder

resent

Correct your spelling

recent

show examples

years , teenagers of normal

weight

have

fear

Correct article usage

a fear

show examples

of increasing

weight

, which leads to

get

Change the verb form

getting

show examples

anorexia. In

this

essay I will discuss why boys and girls have a strong desire to be slim and fit

then

I will move in to give some

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

this

situation . social media is the key to the result of tending to be thin .

People

want to catch on

everyone

Change noun form

everyone's

show examples

eyes and follow the latest fashion trend .

Stars

Correct article usage

The stars

show examples

on the screen are so skinny and elegant .

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

, there are lots of clothes

are

Correct pronoun usage

that are

show examples

suitable for thinner

people

For instance

, my friend always

complain

Change the verb form

complains

show examples

to me that she’s so fat . I know she wants to be the same as her celebrity .

Therefore

I believe that the issue is influenced by the entertainment industry. Most important of all, correcting the value is the first step should

people

do . humans have to know that beauty isn’t only about appearance ,but

also

a health condition . If you don’t have a healthy body, you would not have a chance to enjoy it .

Instead

of losing

weight

, having a

balance

Change the verb form

balanced

show examples

diet and regular exercise is more

benefits

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

. It will improve your body , and make you have an optimistic lifestyle.

Additionally

Add a comma

,Additionally

show examples

parents have to teach their children the importance of health rather than focus on

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

appearance. In conclusion, the main factor to cause

people

struggling

Change the verb form

to struggle

show examples

with their

weight

trend

Add an article

the trend

a trend

show examples

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

correcting the value and educate by their children will solve

this

problem

Submitted by maryamabugela on Sun May 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports faculties . Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .
There is a fact that exercising have an undeniable effect on general health. Some people think that the number of sport faculties can strongly have a positive effect on public health, meanwhile others believe that it can be usefule if it combining with other requierd measures. In my view, the second theory may be more acceptable, and I will argue my reason in following paragraphs.
4
band
Now a days, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?
these days, the lonnger period you spend it in work become routine for most of people and for that reasone the worker feel stressed out, more anxiouse and a lot of other psycological and physyological problems. but what the employes can do to relive this kind of stress and make there lives more easy?
8
band
A friend has agreed to look after your house and pet while you are on holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter give contact details for when you are away give instructions about how to care for your pet describe other household duties You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:
Hi buddy, thanks for agreeing to take care of my pet while I am out for a week.
7
band
You rented a car from Car Rental Company. The air conditioner has stopped working. You phoned the company a week ago but it still has not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter – introduce yourself – explain the situation – say what action you would like the company to take
My name is Gursewak Singh, and I rented a car from your company two weeks ago. The car I received was not the one I was promised. The color and model were different, which was disappointing. To make matters worse, the air conditioner stopped working shortly after I picked up the car.
6.5
band
In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why do people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?
The consumption of imported food has witnessed a significant surge in recent years. Some factors help to account for this trend, but strategic interventions can be employed to encourage more people to eat food grown locally.

Nowadays a growing number of boys and girls within normal weight ranges have an intense fear of gaining weight and therefore get anorexia. Why do you think a lot of teenagers have a strong desire to be skinny? What can be done to prevent this eating disorder?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports faculties . Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

Now a days, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why do people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?