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Band 5.5

Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not others. Some people, therefore, think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive the government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

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In every country, there are fashions among
students
 about which
subjects
 are the best to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
study at university. Sometimes the popularity of a subject is determined by how much money a graduate could
subsequently
 earn in that field. Or
subjects
 that are perceived as relatively ‘easy’ may
also
 become popular, in spite of later difficulties of finding appropriate employment. It is up to governments to give incentives to
students
 to choose
subjects
 that match the needs of their society.
Obviously
Add a comma
,Obviously
show examples
 one way to do
this
 would be for the government to pay the fees of those choosing
such
subjects
. The advantage would certainly be that
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 number of
students
 would
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 and would later fill the employment gaps.
However
, the disadvantages of
such
 a policy would be considerable.
For example
, the
students
 attracted by the funding may not have any real interest in or aptitude for that subject.
Such
students
 may drop out before graduation or after working only a short time in a related job.
Furthermore
, funding one group of
students
 but not
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 would penalize those with a genuine interest and ability for another field.
Such
 discrimination would certainly affect the whole of higher education of the country, and
students
 would develop very negative attitudes towards going to university altogether.
This
 would be very counter-productive for any country. In conclusion, I think there are many other incentives for
students
 that could be considered,
such
 as making courses more interesting to take, or the job rewards greater after graduation. The education policy proposed above,
however
, would certainly have more long-term disadvantages than benefits for society.
Submitted by mm.ayende on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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