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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that success in life depends on hard work and determination. While others believe that other factores like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factores #money #appearance
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Some communities argue that
success
Use synonyms
 is the result of hard work and high motivation to reach the goal. Meanwhile, other societies think that other aspects
such
Linking Words
 as money and good looking are essential. In
this
Linking Words
essay
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,essay
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 I will discuss both sides and state why I personally believe that
success
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 comes to a person who always struggling and never give up. On the one hand, rich
people
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 have a bigger opportunity to get the facilities for their
study
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 and personal care. Typically
children
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,children
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 who are born into
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a
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wealthy family, they
study
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 in
high reputation
Add a hyphen
high-reputation
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 schools with extra facilities and prestigious equipment which is quite expensive.
Besides
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 they have extra time to take a course either curricular or extracurricular to enhance their performance, like taking a piano course, mathematics classes, and even beauty classes to support their appearance. Because of their privilege, as a result, those
people
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 have a bigger chance to get a job and wider relations to emphasize their business in the future.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 who have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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determination and always fight for their desire will bring them to their dreams.
Although
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 they have limitless, commonly they always looking for another way to get closer to their purposes.
For instance
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, a person who does not have enough money to
study
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 in the university
while
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 he wants to be a medical doctor
,
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apply
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 must pursue a scholarship for funding it. Indeed, he needs extra time to
study
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 hard and reduces their sleeping time.
Consequently
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,
people
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 who always upgrade their quality will find
success
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. In sum,
although
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 money and a good appearance give easiness to
success
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, the spirit to always struggle and hard work is more essential. It will bring
people
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 to survive in work life and maintain their
success
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 for the bigger benefit
to
Change preposition
of
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 others.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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