The diagram shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison when relevant.

The diagram shows the recycling process of aluminium cans.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison when relevant.
The given diagram illustrates information about how
aluminium
cans
are recycled.
Overall
, the
aluminium
cans
recycling
process
consists of three main stages, namely : used and collected
cans
, cleaned and compressed
process
, and heated and reused
process
.
To begin
,with consumers throw
aluminium
cans
into rubbish bins. All
cans
in the rubbish bin are collected by the janitor using the truck. After that,
aluminium
cans
are sent to the recycling house (manufacturer). Next step, the
cans
passed the cleaned and sorted
process
, and
then
the
aluminium
cans
were crushed in the shredding
process
to remove any colour from the
cans
.
Furthermore
,
cans
are heated at a certain temperature to allow the
aluminium
to melt. ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Next continue to roll
process
, of the
aluminium
plate to a thickness between 2.5 mm and 6 mm. After getting the perfect size,
aluminium
is ready to be recycled into new packages
such
as drink containers for carbonated drinks.
Finally
, the new
cans
are ready to use in soft drink manufacture.
In addition
, 74 per cent of
aluminium
cans
in the united kingdom are recycled.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words aluminium, cans, process with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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