IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, it is often argued that social
media
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 is mainly responsible for the decline in
people’s
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attention
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 spans. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
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 viewpoint and would like to
further
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 explain it in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, social
media
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 makes people want to browse it indefinitely, which depletes their focus
as well as
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 their mental capacities. To illustrate, social platforms
such
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 as Facebook, Instagram and TikTok are designed in a way that can provide
users
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 with an endless amount of news that suits their interests.
Therefore
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, they can make
users
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 scroll unconsciously from hours to hours until they are tired and mentally overloaded, to the point that they will not be able to concentrate on doing anything else. In the long run, the algorithms of
such
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 platforms can drain
people’s
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attention
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 spans and even their memory function, which can pose detrimental effects on their personal
life
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lives
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,
career
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careers
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, and mental health. The content on social
media
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also
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 accounts for the decline in
people’s
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attention
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 spans in today’s modern society. To be specific, in order to give
users
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 brief and straightforward experiences,
media
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 companies are now producing content
that is
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 short in both length and
information
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, captivating, and easily comprehensible. Despite the fact that these formats may attract more
users
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, they are eliminating
people’s
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 ability to process complicated
information
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.
Due to
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 excessive interactions with social
media
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, people may become used to
such
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information
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 and find it difficult later on to focus on digesting advanced knowledge
such
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 as those in academic resources and literature.
As a result
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, they will hesitate to focus on solving difficult problems, making their
attention
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 spans decrease substantially. In conclusion, I strongly support the view that social
media
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 makes
attention
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 spans shorter because it causes mental overload to
users
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 after long usage and attracts them with instant
information
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 which spoils their capacity to solve complicated
information
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 in the long run.

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Task Response
Your essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the task prompt, with relevant and specific examples to support your viewpoint. However, ensure that the response fully covers all aspects of the task prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion are present. However, there is room for improvement in maintaining coherence and cohesion throughout the essay. Ensure that your ideas are linked and organized in a way that enhances the overall clarity and flow of the essay.
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