Modern technology allows organisations and governments to follow most of our movements and online activity. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Recent technological advances have made it much easier for governments and commercial organisations to record where we are and what we do online.

While

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

may have prevented some crime, I believe that

this

Linking Words

constant monitoring is a negative development

overall

Linking Words

, as it takes away our right to privacy. There is no doubt that the CCTV cameras placed all over most cities have prevented some crimes. Having said that, the fact that crime has not fallen in proportion to the increase in CCTV shows that in practice it is only partially effective. With the excuse of protecting us against terrorism, our communications can be secretly monitored by government organisations, even if we are not suspected of doing anything wrong. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

is out of proportion to the threat of terrorism and goes beyond what any government should do.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, records of our personal internet activity are sold, without our permission, to companies to help them sell things to us. The technology to do

this

Linking Words

is developing much faster than laws can limit it. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

allows companies to put profit before ethics, which is a major minus point. Even more seriously, many believe that our internet data is being collected and

then

Linking Words

used to influence our political decisions.

While

Linking Words

lawmakers try to control

this

Linking Words

, in

reality

Add the comma(s)

reality,

show examples

the techniques of Artificial Intelligence are developing so quickly that

this

Linking Words

is difficult or impossible. Breakthroughs in surveillance technology,

together with

Linking Words

its increased secret use by many governments, mean that we are in danger of losing our privacy completely.

Overall

Linking Words

therefore

Linking Words

, I believe the negatives of constant monitoring outweigh the positives.

dream2cuwed

Jan 5, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Use more specific examples to support your points, particularly in paragraphs discussing online activity and its impact.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain a steady flow of ideas.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction clearly presents the topic and the writer's perspective.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph is well-organized and presents a clear main point.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

274 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Long distance flight consumes the amount of fuel that a car uses for many years and pollutes the air. Some people think that we should discourage non-essential flights, such as tourists travel, rather than limit the use of cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some argue that instead of restricting car usage, we should discourage unnecessary air travel. I believe this contention possesses merit and should be pursued by the relevant authorities.
7.5
band
In the past, lectures were used as a way of teaching large numbers of student, but now with the development of technology for education, many people think there is no justification for attending lectures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recently, there has been a widespread controversy about attending lectures. Some people think it's a necessity, while others believe that with our rapidly evolving world, technology has become the source of education rather than attending a classroom. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my own thoughts.
7.5
band
Success is often measured by wealth and material possessions. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?
Wealth and property are frequently known as the main factors of success. In my opinion, while riches can be one indicator of success, it is not necessarily the best or only scale. I am also convinced that a successful person defines qualities such as a strong work ethic, emotional stability, and a willingness to learn and grow.
6
band
Living in big cities is bad for health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Leading a life in large cities is considered to be bad for both mental and physical health. There are different perspectives, particularly on this issue. This essay will discuss, To what extent we agree or disagree in the following paragraphs with relevant examples.
7
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is often argued that professionals in medical and engineering areas should be demanded to work in the country where they graduated, whilst others disagree and think they should have free choice in choosing the area they desire. While working in the same area after graduation contributes to the development of the homeland, I believe that providing personal freedom of choice allows one to have better opportunities in life.

Modern technology allows organisations and governments to follow most of our movements and online activity. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Long distance flight consumes the amount of fuel that a car uses for many years and pollutes the air. Some people think that we should discourage non-essential flights, such as tourists travel, rather than limit the use of cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, lectures were used as a way of teaching large numbers of student, but now with the development of technology for education, many people think there is no justification for attending lectures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Success is often measured by wealth and material possessions. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

Living in big cities is bad for health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.