IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart shows the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 among females in the countries that make up the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.
This
Linking Words
 graph shows that
while
Linking Words
 the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 among these countries decreased, it is not the case for Scotland. In 2013, England recorded the highest number of female
unemployment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
, recording the highest female
unemployment
Use synonyms
 rate in both 2013 and 2014 at 6.8%.
However
Linking Words
,
this
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 number decreased by three-tenth percentage point at 6.5%. Wales recorded the lowest
unemployment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 in 2013 among females, but
this
Linking Words
 record was broken by Northern Ireland at 4.6%. In a one-year time frame, Northern Ireland was able to decrease their
unemployment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 among females by 1%, the lowest recorded among all.
This
Linking Words
 show that Northern Ireland did everything it could to improve its
unemployment
Use synonyms
 rate among female, showing an improvement in gender equality in the workplace.
In contrast
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, Scotland was the only country which has had an increasing percentage of unemployed women, an increase of 0.5% compared to 2013.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, rates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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