Nowadays , People have adopted an unhealthy lifestyle. Why do think this is ? How could this problem be solved ?

#people #lifestyle

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An unhealthy

lifestyle

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is becoming more widespread among many

people

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these days. There are several problems caused by

this

Linking Words

trend, and various actions could be taken to improve the situation. There are a variety of different causes for

this

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matter.

To begin

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with, many

people

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are wasting too much time

for

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apply

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doing nothing, they don’t know what to do. There was a survey showed that out of 10 young

people

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, only 3

people

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make their plans for their life.

This

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is because

people

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don’t know how to make their own goals, or they think that making plans is unnecessary. Another contributing factor to mention is that the job gives us stress and it can affect dangerously to our

lifestyle

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. There are 6% of

people

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in Vietnam are facing depression and most of them come from stress. As a solution,

people

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find many ways to reduce stress

such

Linking Words

as sleeping, eating, using their phone or even using drugs,

this

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is a dangerous way to destroy our

lifestyle

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. Despite these circumstances, there are several actions that individuals could take to solve the problems.

Firstly

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, a simple solution would be to make our own achievable goals and plans, get a job or work to do, it will make your life more meaningful. The second measure would be for individuals to find another healthy way to relax like spending time with family, friends or play some sports or even quitting their job and finding another more suitable work.

Last

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but not least , we should take time to take care of our health. In conclusion, the problem of our unhealthy

lifestyle

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is unlikely to be entirely eliminated in the short term.

However

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, various solutions can be taken to tackle the issue to reduce the impact it is having on the current society.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Mon May 22 2023

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Task Achievement

The essay addresses the topic but lacks depth and specificity. The ideas are somewhat relevant, but the response could be more complete and comprehensive.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but the connection between ideas and paragraphs could be improved for better coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings. Aim for more sophisticated and precise word choices.

Grammatical Range

The essay shows a fair control of grammar and sentence structures, but there are errors and inconsistencies in punctuation and word usage. Strive for more varied and complex sentence patterns.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Nowadays , People have adopted an unhealthy lifestyle. Why do think this is ? How could this problem be solved ?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countries, the number of shootings increase becausee many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is more important for school children to learn about their local history rather than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Last month you had a holiday abroad where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter: thank them for the photos and for the holiday explain why you didn’t write earlier invite them to come and stay with you.

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. While other people think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both side and give your opinion

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuess both these views and give your own opinion.