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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#governments #progress #people #country
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Nowadays, some
of
Change preposition
apply
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countries suggest that economic
progress
Use synonyms
 is their most
profit
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profitable
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 aim. I strongly believe that other types of
progress
Use synonyms
 are equally important for a government. Economic
progress
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
a
Change the article
apply
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one of the main ways to improve the living conditions in the
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
. From economic
progress
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depent
Correct your spelling
depends
depend
a
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on a
show examples
lot of factors.
For example
Linking Words
, the prices for goods and clothes. China has
high
Add an article
a high
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 level of
economic
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economy
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,
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
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 they have two prices for products. On another hand, not all of the ways to improve your country
depent
Correct your spelling
depend
depart
from
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on
show examples
 economic
progress
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.
Also
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
progress
Use synonyms
 is the best way to uplift the status of
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
For example
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,
Dubai
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. People think that
Dubai
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 became
the
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apply
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one of the richest countries because of the oil and gas, but it is not true.
According to
Linking Words
 the information, that I read
in
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on
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 websites around 90% of oil is located in Abu Dhabi,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is why
Dubai
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 did not
improved
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improve
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 cause of the oil effect.
Dubai
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 tried to develop
tourism
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progress
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the newspapers, every year
Dubai
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earning
Wrong verb form
earns
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 around 900 million dollars from
tourism
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. In conclusion, economic
progress
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 is important for countries, but
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the other types of
progress
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
tourism
Use synonyms
 and sport. It is necessary to develop other progresses, that will help to uplift the government’s status.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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