The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018
The line diagram illustrates the number of
outlet
closures and openings in a particular country throughout the duration from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
,
it is clear that
the number of stores closed was higher than the
opened
Correct pronoun usage
ones opened
show examples
at the beginning,
In contrast
, at the of the period, it was inverted.
According to
the diagram, the figure for shops that closed was
initially
smaller than the
outlet
that opened but went the opposite
at the end
of the year. It started at around 8500 for the shops opening number, which was higher than the
stores
Change to a genitive case
store's
stores'
show examples
closure by approximately 2000, in the same time. From 2012 to 2014, the amount of
outlet
closures increased gradually, and remained higher than the openings, but plummeted to less than 1000 in the following period.
On the other hand
, during the period from 2016 to 2018, the figure for shops closure showed a decreasing trend.
Whereas
, it went the opposite for the
outlet
that opened. It finished at slightly above 5000,
in contrast
, the sum of stores opened dropped to reach a low of 3000.
Submitted by khairanaizzati on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
Vocabulary: Replace the words outlet with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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