IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries, the government pays for health care. In others, the individual must pay for their own health care.  Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each system.

#countries #government #health #care #system
Nowadays, in many countries, the government spends money on the maintaining health of every citizen. In other countries,
citizens
 pay for their own health.
This
 idea has both good and bad sides. On the one hand, the state should spend money on the health of its citizen. If
this
system
 is free, low-income
citizens
also
 will widely use
this
 opportunity and
this
also
 causes the country's population the increase. If
this
 state has enough money,
this
system
 should be use
system
.
On the other hand
,
this
system
 has enough disadvantages.
For example
, it affects the
system
 of public finances in the first place. And people do not appreciate the popular medical
system
.
In addition
, the quality of the medical care equipment and the arrival of workers to the patient's family slow down.
This
 is not good. In conclusion, I support free medical care for
citizens
. Because
this
 is the
system
 necessary for the development of the state and for the
citizens
 to live longer.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: