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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart show the percentage of household in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 2011

The bar chart show the percentage of household in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 2011
#bar #show #percentage #household #accommodation #england #wales
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The bar chart provides information about the changing proportion of families
in
Change preposition
apply
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who owned and rented places in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that
people
Use synonyms
 who chose to rent a house were high in 1918 and less significant in 2001.
However
Linking Words
, only a small number of
people
Use synonyms
 had a private place in 1918, but a massive number in 2001.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar chart data, the vast majority of households that lived in England and Wales preferred to rent rather than to
stayed
Wrong verb form
stay
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 in their own houses. Having started at just below 80%, the figure of the households who opted to live in rented accommodation slowly decreased to 40%, before hitting the low of 30% in 2001, two times lower than
people
Use synonyms
 who rented in 1961.
However
Linking Words
, only in 1971, the percentages of
people
Use synonyms
 who chose to rent and own the accommodation were equal, at 50% for each category. Turning to 2011, it showed that predominantly families who lived in both countries chose to own their private places. Starting at only just above 20%, the percentage of households grew marginally and reached just below 70% in the year 2001, before decreasing slightly to about 65% in 2011.
Submitted by khairanaizzati on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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