IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that arts subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #subjects #school #students
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Some argue that
art
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lessons
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such
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 as painting or drawing should not be mandatory for high school students. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I will discuss
this
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 viewpoint's
pro
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pros
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 and
corns
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cons
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 and include my own opinion. On the one hand, there are many several
subjects
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 that schools recommend for
pupil
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pupils
show examples
. Leaners always choose the
subjects
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 that they will pass
excam
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exam
exams
.
That is
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 why children choose major
subjects
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such
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 as math,
phisics
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physics
,
chemistry
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and chemistry
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.
Moreover
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, not always
art
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 tempt
pupil
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pupils
show examples
, because they consider
art
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lessons
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 more abstract. They do not
want
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want to
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 waste their time learning these
subjects
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.
On the other hand
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, not all students have
learning
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the learning
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 ability
major
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to major
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 subject and it would
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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underestimate their other skills. For
inctanse
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instance
, a student of
minecould
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mine could
 not learn math,
geography
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or geography
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, but she has
facsinating
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fascinating
 painting
skill
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skills
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. I discovered her painting
skill
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skills
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 when she was in 9th class. I consider
art
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lessons
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 should
be teach
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be teaching
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 children. But it does not mean that it should be obligatory.
Pupil
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Pupils
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 should choose themselves which
lessons
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 they want to learn. Tu sum up all mentioned above some people believe that
art
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 subject be compulsory,
while
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 others think that it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of time to learn
art
Use synonyms
 subject in high school.
Submitted by nargiz.nagiyeva0101 on

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Structure
Try to provide a more structured approach to your essay by clearly introducing, developing, and concluding your arguments. This can greatly improve readability and the effectiveness of your communication.
Specificity
Work on avoiding generalizations and focus on substantiating your points with more specific examples and explanations. This will make your argument more persuasive and grounded.
Language Accuracy
Review and correct grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to improve the professional quality of your writing. Consistently correct language use also aids in making your argument more compelling.
Sentence Variety
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance the flow and interest of your text. This variability can attract and hold the reader's attention more effectively.
Position Clear
You've shown a clear position on the topic, which is good for meeting the task's requirements.
Balance
Including contrasting viewpoints provides a well-rounded discussion of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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