In recent years children have been given more freedom than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

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Freedom is a right for everybody. But, for ,kids we should take care of the free life that they had. Because more freedom can affect them in a bad way. Some kids nowadays have bad behaviour and less knowledge because of free time. We can see that in our environment. First of all, free time without having a plan can make any person bad in many things,
For example
, I have one of my friends whose father is very rich, he
gives
Wrong verb form
has given
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him anything he
wants
Wrong verb form
wanted
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since he was young. Sadly, that makes him unreliable. Another thing is he does not work or study.
Therefore
, he starts to hang out with bad people
also
he is always sad because he does not have a goal.
On the other hand
, there are several good people in our community
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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are related to their parents.
Moreover
, if we make our children busy with education, sports, and fun. They will become successful in the future.
For instance
, my little brother, is studying in the morning, he plays football after none, and at night he just has an hour to watch television or use his smartphone. In that case, he will never become a lazy or negative person. In conclusion, We have to know that more free
date
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dates
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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worse than being busy with friends or family.
Last
but not least, we should make a balance between fun and study for our baby and for ourselves. In ,fact our kids act like us and we are their heroes.
Submitted by mralryqy28 on

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Task Achievement
Develop a clear and concise introduction that directly addresses the prompt. Ensure that the main points are fully supported and relevant specific examples are used to strengthen the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and improve coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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