In recent years children have been given more freedom than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

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Freedom is a right for everybody. But, for ,kids we should take care of the free life that they had. Because more freedom can affect them in a bad way. Some kids nowadays have bad behaviour and less knowledge because of free time. We can see that in our environment. First of all, free time without having a plan can make any person bad in many things,

For example

Linking Words

, I have one of my friends whose father is very rich, he

gives

Wrong verb form

has given

show examples

him anything he

wants

Wrong verb form

wanted

show examples

since he was young. Sadly, that makes him unreliable. Another thing is he does not work or study.

Therefore

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, he starts to hang out with bad people

also

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he is always sad because he does not have a goal.

On the other hand

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, there are several good people in our community

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

are related to their parents.

Moreover

Linking Words

, if we make our children busy with education, sports, and fun. They will become successful in the future.

For instance

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, my little brother, is studying in the morning, he plays football after none, and at night he just has an hour to watch television or use his smartphone. In that case, he will never become a lazy or negative person. In conclusion, We have to know that more free

date

Fix the agreement mistake

dates

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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worse than being busy with friends or family.

Last

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but not least, we should make a balance between fun and study for our baby and for ourselves. In ,fact our kids act like us and we are their heroes.

mralryqy28Mon May 22 2023

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Task Achievement

Develop a clear and concise introduction that directly addresses the prompt. Ensure that the main points are fully supported and relevant specific examples are used to strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and improve coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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In recent years children have been given more freedom than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

Your opinion

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