The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shop that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shop that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given line graph illustrates the number of
shop
closures
and
openings
in a country between 2011 and 2018.
Overall
both
shop
closures
and
openings
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined for the 7 years period. Obviously, the number of new
shop
openings
changed much higher than
shop
Correct article usage
the shop
show examples
closure
numbers
. From 2011 to 2014, the number of
shop
closures
fluctuated at roughly 6500
shops
per
year
. Next
year
, it dropped under 1000
shops
a
year
which was the lowest point of
closures
between 2011 and 2017.
Then
,
shop
closure
numbers
moderetaly
Correct your spelling
moderately
increased
just
Change preposition
by just
show examples
over 5000
shops
a
year
, and fluctuated at
this
level to 2018. In 2011, the
numbers
of
shop
openings
were at the highest point which was approximately 8500
shops
per
year
. One
year
later, dramatically dropped by 3500
shops
,
then
gradually rose to 6000 from 2012 to 2014. After a sudden drop was observed in 2015, it slightly inclined just above 4000
shops
per
year
.
Eventually
Add a comma
,Eventually
show examples
shop
opening
numbers
fell by 1000, and dropped
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
point in 2018.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words shop, closures, openings, numbers, shops, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • peak
  • decline
  • fluctuation
  • correlation
  • inverse relationship
  • notable
  • comparable
  • speculate
  • external factors
  • increment
  • decrement
  • overall
  • composite
  • linear
  • net gain
  • net loss
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