The diagram shows the process by which milk and its related products are produced

The diagram shows the process by which milk and its related products are produced
The above illustration depicts the stages involved in milk production and its variations.
Overall
, there is a total of eight stages involved in
this
process, starting from the farm and
lastly
to the retail shops for the final consumers. Each stage has its own unique use and cannot be overlooked.
Firstly
, the cow
are
Change the verb form
is
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being reared and nurtured for
this
process. The milking machine extracts the milk from these animals,
hence
giving room for the process of preservation where they're preserved in the refrigerator before being conveyed
everyday
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every day
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through the tanker to the factory for the final stage.
Lastly
, at the
refinary
Correct your spelling
refinery
, the dairy is
therefore
processed with the processing machine where they're made into different categories like cheese, cream and butter.
Furthermore
, the milk is hereby packaged into various containers as their types differ.
Then
they are ready for sale and
finally
distributed to the grocery shops where they can get to the
last
consumers.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "lastly".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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