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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the chart show how it was distributed

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the chart show how it was distributed
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #show
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The table chart depicts cops funding in a particular area in Britain from three different sources between 2017 and 2018
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts show how the money was disbursed. The unit of measurement is in
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
that
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
the disbursement
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three sectors increased over the years with local taxes experiencing the most significant increase in
allocation
Correct article usage
the allocation
show examples
 of
funds
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
vast
Add an article
the vast
show examples
 majority of the
funds
Use synonyms
 were used for the payment of
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
 wages.
According to
Linking Words
 the table, the national government contributed 175.5
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 to the police budget in 2017, the amount rose to about 177.8
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 in the following year.
However
Linking Words
, local taxation experienced the greatest growth in
funds
Use synonyms
 as the value increased from 91.2 in 2017 to 102.3
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 in 2018.
Correct your spelling
Meanwhile
Meanwhil
Correct your spelling
Meanwhile
, other sources saw an increase of half a
million
Use synonyms
pounds
Use synonyms
 between 2017 and 2018 In terms of budgetary, more than half of the money generated
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 used for sorting salaries of
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 and police.
Althoug
Correct your spelling
Although
,
this
Linking Words
 figure decreased by 6% in 2018.
Whereas
Linking Words
, money for technology in 2018 was almost twice
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 figure in 2017
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of
funds
Use synonyms
 for building and transport remained unchanged.
Submitted by oludayotemilade on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words million, pounds, funds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget allocation
  • funding sources
  • government policies
  • economic conditions
  • community services
  • crime prevention
  • public safety
  • significant increase/decrease
  • distribution
  • assessment
  • reflection
  • allocation shifts
  • budget comparison
  • impact analysis
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