IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

#people #debt #don’t #can’t #behavior #action
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Globalization in one way has made
people
Use synonyms
 more materialistic. Few get themselves
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 by getting money from loan sharks in order to maintain status within their community.
This
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 essay will discuss briefly
about
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apply
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the cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 these actions and the way we can solve
this
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 issue.
People
Use synonyms
 have become more materialistic and strongly believe that they are valued in a society based on what material things they possess.
Eventually
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,Eventually
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this
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drive
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drives
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 them to purchase unwanted lavish products to showcase their social status among their friends and family circle, which
on
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in
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 long run
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 land
in
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apply
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huge loans.
For instance
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, A man earning close to fifty thousand is habitual to buy
thigs
Correct your spelling
things
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 worth one lakh using his credit card. If he is unable to pay it in the following month, an interest rate is added to his original outstanding balances
thus
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 landing him in huge debts. In order to avoid
such
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 issues,
this
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 generation
citizens
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of citizens
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 need to be aware that the values of a person have
significant
Correct quantifier usage
more significant
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 importance in a community than their wealth.
In addition
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, many are influenced
due to
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 the lifestyle depicted
in
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media platforms by rich and affluent
people
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.
This
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 encourages
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
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people
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 to live a similar life, neglecting the fact whether
they
Add a verb
arethey
werethey
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 financially strong enough to adapt
it
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to it
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. To illustrate, there is a report in a local newspaper that states 80% of
people
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 visiting foreign countries and opting for huge resorts are
people
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 who are struggling to meet their ends. To mitigate
such
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 issues, topics on financial management should be well educated to all classes of
people
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. In conclusion,
better
Add an article
a better
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 understanding of managing finances and the knowledge that material things have less impact on the way a person treats you will enable
people
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 to pick things
that
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 actually necessary for them.
However
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,
this
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 basic understanding itself will prevent
people
Use synonyms
 from falling
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 huge debts.
Submitted by priyanka444praveen on

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