IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #government #expenditure #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts illustrate the information of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local government spending in two separate years, in 2010 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from these graphs is that
although
Linking Words
 the
genaral
Correct your spelling
general
 distribution for each
categories
Change to a singular noun
category
show examples
 was almost identical, we can see the major growth
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 warefare
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
show examples
defence
Correct article usage
the defence
show examples
bugdet
Correct your spelling
budget
 which decreased its figure through the 5 years.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the figures of the
dominated
Replace the word
dominant
show examples
 three
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 of using
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 budget, namely, education, healthcare and pension in that order,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
kept their attached priority ranged between 19% and 25% throughout the designated period. Interestingly, transport, recreation and other sectors
also
Linking Words
 remained their trend to be
relatively
Add an article
a relatively
the relatively
show examples
 uncommon way of spending the government's
edpenditure
Correct your spelling
expenditure
, whose figure
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 at more or less 2%.
Turing
Correct your spelling
Turning
show examples
 to the remaining proportion regarding defence,
walfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
 and bank interest,
whereas
Linking Words
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 total figure marginally varied, their breakdown experienced a slight change in the
half decade
Add a hyphen
half-decade
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 there was
9
Correct article usage
a 9
show examples
%
defference
Correct your spelling
difference
 between defence and
walfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
warfare
 in 2010, the latter's
nubmer
Correct your spelling
number
 became quite as high
percentage
Correct article usage
a percentage
show examples
 as the former's five years later.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, interest doubled from 5% to 10% in 2015.
Submitted by lisa_smile_2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: