Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and excercise everyday will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly are suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the cause and solution

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It is true that the elderly allocate their time to socialize and work out will have a chance to become healthier and happier,

nevertheless

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, they are dealing with isolation and weakness. In

this

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essay, I will discuss

Use synonyms

reasons

Correct article usage

the reasons

show examples

for

this

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phenomenon and present solutions to mitigate

this

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problem. There are some

reasons

Use synonyms

for

this

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tendency.

Firstly

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almost

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

all of

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them live far away from their

decendants

Correct your spelling

descendants

because their offspring need to go to work far from their parent's

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

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to find new opportunities for their career paths.

Thus

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, they can be separated apart from others and do not have anyone to live with and communicate

, which

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with, which

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leads to an increase in the rate of depression

occurred

Wrong verb form

occurring

show examples

mainly in the elderly.

Secondly

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, there are not too many places for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public activities purpose.

Due to

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overpopulation and migration, many public areas

such

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as parks and lakes are replaced to become apartments and shops for citizens.

As a result

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, the old do not have many choices for their outdoor activities and they have a habit to stay

indoor

Correct your spelling

indoors

show examples

. Fortunately, there are several feasible solutions to deal with

this

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tendency. The first solution would be to teach the elderly to use technology to communicate with their children and entertain on their private devices.

Moreover

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, they can call their peers and update news without going too far because of their weak physical health. Another solution would be to build up social infrastructures for dwellers, especially in cities, to keep the old aged fit and socialize more.

Thus

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, they will have more chances to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

exercise and meet their friends in

such

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areas. In conclusion,

while

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living apart from offspring and the lack of public infrastructures are the main

reasons

Use synonyms

why the elderly have lonely and unhealthy lifestyles, there are some practical

reasons

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such

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as using technology and constructing more public infrastructures for the old. It is advisable that governments and the young generation should attack

this

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problem and bring a better life for the elderly.

thanhvinhdoi338Tue May 23 2023

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

331 words

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Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and excercise everyday will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly are suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the cause and solution

Your opinion

**You have borrowed something from your friend and it got damaged.** **Write a letter to your friend. In the letter:** - **apologise for the damage to the item** - **explain what happened** - **say how you are going to fix the issue**

The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries. Do the advantages of this development overweigh the disadvantages?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvatages?

Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family, we just watch television. To what extent fo you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some say the best way to deal with public health issues is to invest in developing new medicines. Others say that a better way is to promote a healthy lifestyle. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You have borrowed something from your friend and it got damaged. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter: - apologise for the damage to the item - explain what happened - say how you are going to fix the issue