Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and excercise everyday will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly are suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the cause and solution

#experts #people #time #excercise #loneliness #lack #fitness

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It is true that the elderly allocate their time to socialize and work out will have a chance to become healthier and happier,

nevertheless

, they are dealing with isolation and weakness. In

this

essay, I will discuss

reasons

Correct article usage

the reasons

show examples

for

this

phenomenon and present solutions to mitigate

this

problem. There are some

reasons

for

this

tendency.

Firstly

almost

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

all of

show examples

them live far away from their

decendants

Correct your spelling

descendants

because their offspring need to go to work far from their parent's

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

to find new opportunities for their career paths.

Thus

, they can be separated apart from others and do not have anyone to live with and communicate

, which

Change preposition

with, which

show examples

leads to an increase in the rate of depression

occurred

Wrong verb form

occurring

show examples

mainly in the elderly.

Secondly

, there are not too many places for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public activities purpose.

Due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overpopulation and migration, many public areas

such

as parks and lakes are replaced to become apartments and shops for citizens.

As a result

, the old do not have many choices for their outdoor activities and they have a habit to stay

indoor

Correct your spelling

indoors

show examples

. Fortunately, there are several feasible solutions to deal with

this

tendency. The first solution would be to teach the elderly to use technology to communicate with their children and entertain on their private devices.

Moreover

, they can call their peers and update news without going too far because of their weak physical health. Another solution would be to build up social infrastructures for dwellers, especially in cities, to keep the old aged fit and socialize more.

Thus

, they will have more chances to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

exercise and meet their friends in

such

areas. In conclusion,

while

living apart from offspring and the lack of public infrastructures are the main

reasons

why the elderly have lonely and unhealthy lifestyles, there are some practical

reasons

such

as using technology and constructing more public infrastructures for the old. It is advisable that governments and the young generation should attack

this

problem and bring a better life for the elderly.

Submitted by thanhvinhdoi338 on Tue May 23 2023

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

331 words

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Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and excercise everyday will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly are suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the cause and solution

Your opinion

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interest and whether they are marries od single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Other disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative devlopment? write at least 250 words.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.